Dear Family,

Last week, we sat down with Laurel Exner, a veteran of the retail front lines who faced a tragedy no one should have to endure. After losing both her son and her daughter to fentanyl, Laurel proved that even when your "village" feels like a graveyard, the Invisible CEO can still build a sanctuary. Her story of financial grit and identity restoration reminded us that we are capable of building hope from the ashes.

But once the sanctuary is built, how do we live in it without being consumed by "what should have been"?

I recently sat down again with Dr. Anthony Silard, author of Love and Suffering. Dr. Silard is a research professor and a leadership expert who understands that the "Ideal" life we planned often looks nothing like the "Real" life we are living. Today, we are auditing the distance between the two. Being the Invisible CEO means stopping the "Should" and starting the "Is."

The Raw Truth: Letting Go of the Apron

After everything I’ve already survived—overcoming serious illness, the tragic loss of my own child, a divorce—I felt like I deserved a retirement. I found myself wishing I could just sleep in on a Tuesday, or paralyzed by the fear of what would happen to these children if I couldn't keep up. For the first two years, I was doing this because it was the "right" thing to do. I was a CEO running on duty, not desire.

But then, I decided to let go of every tool in my toolbox that I didn't actually need. I stopped trying to be the "apron grandmother" and started being the anchor grandmother. I realized there is actually nothing else I’d rather be doing. Acceptance isn't giving up or being passive; it’s finally standing on solid ground so you can actually pick up the "chair" of your life and move it where it needs to go.

Inside the Project: Episode 113

This Week’s Guest: Dr. Anthony Silard | The Architecture of Acceptance: Surrendering the "Shoulds"

In this episode, Dr. Silard helps us navigate the "Emotion Elevator." We discuss why "should" is the most dangerous word in a caregiver's vocabulary and how the "Five PRs" of traditional manhood often lead grandfathers toward a "death of despair." We also dive into the "Fourth Trimester"—the social development our kids need that no screen can provide.

​[🎧 LISTEN TO EPISODE #113: Dr. Anthony Silard]​

The Reflection Room

Dr. Silard reminded us that we are like a Prism. If you put a prism next to a rose, it takes the color of the rose. If you put it next to something messier, it takes that color, too. But the prism is just the messenger—it isn't the mess.

Ask yourself today: Am I fighting the life I have, or am I ready to accept the mission I’m on? A CEO doesn't manage a company that "should" exist; they manage the one that is right in front of them. What is one "should" you can let go of tonight?

The Toolbox: Tactical Moves

• Replace "Should" with "Is": This week, catch yourself saying "I should be..." or "They should do..." and replace it with "This is." This is where we are. It stops the energy leak of resistance.
• The 5-C Audit for Men: For the grandfathers listening—move away from the "PRs" (Produce/Prove) and toward the Cs: Compassion, Community, Collaboration, Connection, and Commiseration. These are the tools of survival as we age.
• The "Emotion Elevator": When a child is melting down, don't stay on the ground floor of their anger. Invite them into the elevator and model how to go up to the floor of "regulation" together.

You are 2.7 million strong. You are the authors of a legacy, even if you didn't choose all the characters in the book. Your heart is the most important asset on the balance sheet.

Keep nurturing, keep leading, and I’ll see you in the next boardroom.

Laura Brazan

Founder, The 2.7 Million Project/Host of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Nurturing Through Adversity

​https://www.grandparents-raising-grandchildren.org/​