Dear Family,

Have you ever sat on your kitchen floor, literally sliding down the wall because the weight of the "Yes" you said feels like it’s crushing you?

This week, I spoke with Bonnie Butler, a woman who has parented ten children and fostered seventeen. She shared a moment of "Raw Truth" that I think every one of us has felt: the moment you realize you have zero confidence in your ability to handle the needs in front of you.

We often think our overwhelm is caused by the kids, the courts, or the chaos. But Bonnie reminded me that our overwhelm is actually a result of our thoughts about the situation, not the situation itself. It’s about the "Emotional Motherboard"—if we are dysregulated, the whole system crashes.

The Raw Truth: The Fantasy of "What Might Have Been"

As the "Invisible CEOs" of our homes, we have to master Emotional Hygiene. We have to cross the bridges of grief so we can lead our families from a place of center, not a place of panic.

Inside the Project: Episode 103

This Week’s Guest: Bonnie Butler | "The Emotional Motherboard: Managing Thoughts in the Storm" Bonnie shares her hard-earned wisdom on the "Bridges of Acceptance" and why understanding the trauma-brain is the key to stopping the cycle of self-sabotage.

​[Link to Listen Here]​

The Reflection Room

I want you to step into the Reflection Room with me. Bonnie teaches that there are three bridges we must cross:

1. This is not the child I thought I was going to have.
2. I am not the parent I thought I was going to get to be.
3. This is not the life I thought I was going to have.

Which bridge are you currently standing on? Are you trying to run back to the other side, or are you ready to take the next step forward into your new reality?

The Toolbox: Tactical Moves

• Move 1: Practice Emotional Hygiene. Just as we teach children to brush their teeth, we must teach ourselves to "clean" our thoughts. When you feel a spike of anger or despair, stop and ask: "Is this feeling coming from the event, or from my expectation of how the event should have gone?"
• Move 2: Understand the "Adrenaline Baseline." Recognize that a child from trauma often creates chaos because "calm" feels unsafe to their brain. When they act out, they are looking for an adrenaline rush. Don't give it to them. Stay centered and be the "calm motherboard" they can plug into.
• Move 3: Close the "Open Loops." If you find yourself constantly "waiting for the other shoe to drop," you are sabotaging your own peace. Verbally acknowledge: "We are safe in this moment. I am okay in this moment."

Bonnie Butler's community "The Well" is open for new members. Those who join during this first launch will have a lifetime rate of $77/month. Later launches will be $97/month. Here’s the link to all the information. If you have any questions, feel free to reach Bonnie directly at "Bonnie Butler Coaching".​

Registration for the ATTACh conference, in San Antonio, in April is now open! ATTACh is an international coalition dedicated to promoting awareness of trauma and attachment disorders in children and teens, and empowering caregivers and professionals to help them heal.

As a supportive professional network, they can help you understand the need for long-term healing and offer a comprehensive approach that goes beyond temporary fixes.

Whether you are a parent, professional, or caregiver, join ATTACh today and make a positive impact on the lives of these children and teens.

You are the keeper of the future, and your healing is the greatest gift you can give them. We are 2.7 million strong. Still nurturing, and still here.

See you in the next boardroom,

Laura Brazan

Founder, The 2.7 Million Project/Host of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Nurturing Through Adversity

​https://www.grandparents-raising-grandchildren.org/​