Trauma-Informed Parenting: Dr. Lindsay on the 5 C’s of Kinship Care 🤩
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Dear Family, Last week, we sat down with Nancy Lasater to discuss the "Warrior Heart" and the courage it takes to fire the "Case of the Shoulds." We talked about how to trust our gut when the system tries to label our grandchildren before it truly understands them. But once we’ve cleared the mental space of those "shoulds," a new question arises: How do we actually manage the day-to-day behavior without losing our minds? I recently spoke with Dr. Lindsay Emmerson, developer of the Better Behavior Blueprint. Lindsay helped me realize that parenting isn't an innate personality trait we’re born with—it’s a learned skill. For those of us in the "Second Cradle," it’s time to stop winging it and start implementing a system that actually protects our peace. The Raw Truth: The "Tornado" Audit I sat at my kitchen table this morning, nursing a lukewarm cup of coffee and feeling a weight in my chest that had nothing to do with the early hour. Yesterday, I lost my cool. Again. It started with a spilled glass of juice and ended with a shouting match that made me feel like I was back in 1985, but without the energy to bounce back.
I realized something humbling: I am a lot less forgiving of myself as a grandmother than I was as a young mom. Back then, I was "learning on the job." Now, I feel like I should already have the diploma. But the truth is, the hardware has changed. Raising a child who has experienced the trauma of removal, addiction, or loss isn't the same as raising a biological child in a stable environment. My "instinct" is hitting a wall because these kids aren't responding to the old "Because I said so" software.
Think of a tornado. At the bottom, it’s just a little bit of dust—a minor irritation. But as it spins upward, it gains speed until it hits the "Tornado Funnel." Once your anger is at the top of that funnel, you’ve lost the audit. You’re going to yell. You’re going to say things you regret. I realized this week that my role as the Invisible CEO isn't to be a saint who never gets angry; it’s to be a "System Architect" who catches the spiral while it’s still at the bottom. I’m learning that "Good Enough" parenting is actually a scientific standard. If we get it right 50% of the time, we are winning. Inside the Project: Episode #108 This Week’s Guest: Dr. Lindsay Emmerson | The 5 C’s of Amazing Parenting In this episode, we move from random tactics to a cohesive system. We discuss why the "Because I said so" style of our past doesn't work on trauma-impacted brains. Lindsay breaks down her 5 C's Framework—Communication, Consistency, Choices, Consequences, and Checking Yourself—and explains why "Amazing Parenting" is simply the perfect balance of warmth and structure. [🎧 LISTEN TO EPISODE #108: Dr. Lindsay Emmerson] The Reflection Room Dr. Emmerson challenged us to look at our own "triggers" as data points. Ask yourself today: Am I reacting to my grandchild’s behavior, or am I reacting to my own exhaustion? A CEO doesn't make a major decision when they’re "edgy" or sleep-deprived. Are you giving yourself the same grace you give your grandchildren? Remember, the goal isn't perfection; it’s repair. The Toolbox: Tactical Moves
The Repair Script: If you lose your cool, model leadership by apologizing. "I was tired and I yelled. I'm sorry. Can we try that conversation again?" It’s the fastest way to lower the cortisol in your home. Download and print our Dr Emmerson's "The 5 C's to Amazing Parenting" from the new "Resource Library" on our website! Put it on your fridge so you and the family see it every day like I have! We make it a game. "Whoever gets the 5 C's first gets a cookie!" We're having lots of fun with it- even my husband! You are the CEO of the most important boardroom in the world. Your sanity is the foundation of their sanctuary. We are 2.7 million strong. Still nurturing, and still here. See you in the next boardroom, Laura Brazan Founder, The 2.7 Million Project/Host of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Nurturing Through Adversity |
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